Reflection on 09'

Looking back on 2009, it was a not such a fun year. I had a lot of trouble with school, something that was very new to me because I used to love school. I didn’t pass my AP exam, ouch, and I also had so much writer’s block I wanted to pound my head into a wall a thousand times over. It wasn’t a great year, maybe a good year but if that’s the case it barely the cut off.

There were good things about 2009, I did make it through 10th grade in one piece, though I still have nightmares about it, I went to Backspace for a second time and learned even more about how to go about getting published. I learned the hard way, which is sometimes the best way, how to go about getting published and how to not go about doing it. I got plenty of rejections for my first novel, with good reason it sucked, and realized some of my short comings as a writer. My amazing friend Sara got an agent, and I couldn’t be more thrilled for her (seriously ask her, she still gets emails smothered in exclamation points) and also filled with hope that it can happen. And I started this blog, by far one of the best things I could have done, because not only have I found support here on the blogsphere, I’ve also made many a new writer friend. And coming from a town where writers are lacking, that’s a big step, a good big step. Thanks you guys :), for everything.

Oh and I adopted these two adorable little boys, named Finnegan and McAllister the best babies in the world, despite the fact that they cry at all hours of the night, have sharp nails, think that they are dogs and have decided that they want to go outside, (to my horror) despite the hawk that is three times their size and eats kitties. They have yet to successfully escape *knocks on wood*. Here is a picture of their cuteness, time two.



Mac is on the left, and Finn is on the right. They are so cute!

So in light of the fact that ’09 was a bad year for me, I’ve resolved to make sure that 2010 is eons better. I will make it better. A new ‘look at the glass half full’ mentality.
Resolutions for 2010:

-Finish a WIP
-Finish He’s With Me
-Edit
-Edit
-Edit
-Edit
-Do research for Glass Heart
-Finish Glass Heart
-Edit
-Edit
-Edit
-Find a Crit. Group
-Get into College
-Get through Jr. Year
-Read, over 100 books
-Pass AP exams (with flying colors)
-Give Kittens baths
-Work on stepping out of my comfort zone.
-Work on stepping out of my comfort zone.
-Query until my fingers bleed (after finishing
And editing obviously)
-And get a job (ick)

And my one goal, well that depends on all the other stuff on this list:
Get an agent.

Now that may not happen, and then there is always 2011, and the years to follow, but it is still my goal, my dream.

So a Happy New Year to all! I hope all your aspirations, and plans and resolutions are met, or come true. Have a nice night!

Merry Christmas!

Just poping in to say Merry Christmas, or Merry Christmas Eve, because it is still the 24th here, but whatever. I hope everyone has a nice holiday! ^__^

Kiss Of Life

Here is my kissing scene, posted just before midnight. I barely made it. But I made it. And it is way longer than some of the others but I'm sleepy and...yeah. So some background, this is from my most current WIP as visible in my sidebar. My MC's Ashlyn and Declan are crossing a river, during a rainstorm because they have to get to the other side to find shelter they are still in enemy territory after all and that is dangerous. Of course they are arguing as they always do, and things get a little out of hand. And that was an awful description.

It is a smidge long , and I guess isn't exactly a kissing scene but well she was breathing life into him and they don't exactly have any lovey dove-y kiss-y moments...yet. And hey there was lip to lip action going on. Besides its her actions that are really more important here, and I still have to get out all the kinks and make it seem like she's struggling a little more because I just wrote this...but I digress... So yep here is my contribution to the kissing blog day thingamagig. Which by the way is an awesome idea.

Edit: I looked this over, on Tuesday, and did a little tightening and adding, so I am much happier with this piece now that I am no longer half asleep.

*******

“Okay Ash, the water is moving faster here, watch your step.” His voice was kind, but the nickname hurt, just being near him hurt. They were waist deep in the water now, and it seemed as though the current was picking up speed as the rain fell harder.

“Don’t call me that.” Ashlyn snapped, Declan didn’t say anything, he just watched the river in front of him.

“Fine. But watch the next few steps. I promised your father I’d keep you safe and after five years—”

“Shut the hell up! You don’t know anything about the past five years! You weren’t even here!” Declan was beside her now and they were only a few feet from the other side of the river.

“Ashlyn—”

“Go die in a hole,” Ashlyn spat, shoving Declan squarely in the chest. He stumbled back in the water, barely catching his balance. He was down river from her now, though she wouldn't look at him his eyes never left her face, focusing on her even in the rain.

“Ashlyn—”

“I don’t want to talk to you right now, okay, just go away!” she screamed, tears of exhaustion and pent up anger were building up behind her eyes, and she would not cry in front of him. She could not show him weakness, because then she would be right back to where she had been five years ago; a helpless, needy, little girl.

As he always did Declan obliged, stepping back, away from her. But as he did he stumbled back into the water. A sickening crack bounced off the falling raindrops, followed by the splash of waves as his body sank into the river.

“Declan?” she turned in towards the sound, her heart sinking in her chest. That hadn’t sounded good.

He didn’t answer, and she couldn’t see him.

“Declan!” her voice was panicked, the rain was pounding harder now almost fully clouding her vision. Then through the white sheets of rain she saw his body floating a few feet away from her. It was being carried away, downriver.

He wasn't even fighting the current.
And then she knew.

Without a seconds hesitation she threw herself into the water after him, swimming with the current. She clasped her hand around his arm, holding tight to his slick cold skin, trying to yank him out of the water with her, but it was too deep and she couldn't find any footing. Waves crashed against her pushing her down into the water, until she was completely submerged. The current carried them further and further downstream. It seemed as though the currents strength increased with every wave it threw at her, pulling her under with his dead weight. The cold water started to push itself into her mouth and nose, trying to suffocate her, trying to get her to let go of him. But she wouldn't, she couldn't let go of him.

Ashlyn broke through the top of the water, struggling to hold onto Declan and to keep herself afloat, the freezing water seeped through her clothing as though it was going to sink into her bones. A wave threw her into a rock, hitting her squarely in between her shoulder blades, knocking the wind out of her. Again Ashlyn struggled to catch her breath before she was smothered by the oncoming water, only to reemerge and be thrown into another rock. She could feel herself getting a little numb; an ache had begun to spread its painful tendrils across her back, and down her arm, tempting her to let him go. To let go of him and wrap her arms around herself, a siren call that promised to make the pain stop.

Every breath was more precious and took twice as much energy to attain than the last. She opened her eyes and the water splashed into them causing her to hiss in pain, but then she saw it, a branch was hanging out over the side of the river. Its misshapen claws extended over the river, as though reaching out to help her. Ashlyn reached out, it was a long shot, but somehow she managed to grab hold of the branch. Her raw fingertips brushing the rough bark, just enough for her to gain a feeble hold, just enough for her to hold on.

Declan’s body was pulling her under again, but she couldn't let go, she couldn't let him go. With a strength she didn't know she had Ashlyn pushed Declan’s body over towards land, gasping for air as her teeth began to chatter involuntarily from the stabbing cold. She put every last ounce of her energy into shoving him onto the muddy riverbank, to getting him to safety. Then with the little strength she had left, she lifted herself up next to him.

“Declan?” she shook him even though her hands were trembling from the cold. His lips were turning blue, there was a nasty gash on his head and he wasn't breathing. Ashlyn’s golden eyes widened, her heart pounding in her ears. Repeating one thing over and over he isn’t breathing.

He couldn't die, she wouldn't let him die.

“Declan!” she screamed, hitting his chest hard with her fist; as though hoping this would get him to start breathing, as though this act of violence would jar him into consciousness. For a moment she just looked at him, unable to catch her own breath, unable to think. Then her medical training took over.

Ashlyn straddled herself over him, placing one knee onto either side of his waist, not ideal for CPR, but she needed to try and warm him up too. He would need good circulation, and for that he needed whatever warmth she could give him. Without a second thought she took a deep breath and lowered her blue lips to his, exhaling her breath into him. Declan’s lips were still warm as though they hadn’t been in the water at all, and to her surprise they were softer than she imagined they’d be.

Ashlyn pulled away gasping for oxygen as she started compressions. Each breath took more energy than the last. The cold bit into her violently, stripping her of warmth, making her more lethargic. The exhaustion from before was beginning to take hold again.

“Declan, you asshole, you cannot die! Do you hear me damn it, you cannot die! I need you! Okay? I fucking need you! You cannot die!” she cried and the tears she had been holding back, the tears of anger, resentment, and fear, began to pour over onto her already wet cheeks.

Ashlyn took another deep breath with the last of her energy, she leaned forwards, pressing her cold blue lips to his, exhaling one last time into his mouth, trying so hard, willing him to live.

“I need you, okay” she cried, her mouth still pressed to his “I need you, please. Please don't leave me again, please.” She pulled away compressing his chest again, sitting across his lower abdomen, tears choking the breath out of her. Her will to go on, suffocating as she failed to bring him back.

Declan’s grey eyes flew open, as he gasped for air. Ashlyn barely had time to roll off of him, as he turned to his side, hacking up river water, struggling to breathe.

*******

As always feedback is appreciated.

SNIs

(Pronounced S-nee, like squee except with out the qu, just replaced with an n) (And I don't know how to get rid of those lines that have appeared at the top of this post...)

To me its stands for Shiny New Idea, of course I don't know if anyone else uses that abbreviations, but whatever. So I was wondering, how do you sort through your SNIs? Because, I tend to get a lot of them, during the rough patches with whatever project I'm working on, because my brain has been idle and is rebelling at the constant attention to a few characters by sending me other interesting ones to talk to. Now I keep a list of all my cool SNIs, you know the ones that have potential, because lets face it not all of them have any potential at all and are obviously just there because my brain was bored. Those I let disappear into the abyss of forgotten knowledge, I like to imagine those ideas are happy playing with ninth grade algebra, and all the sentence structure and spelling I learned over the years. But the good SNIs like to stick around and be persistent, tempting little jerks.

So I was wondering, how do you keep your brain from wandering and how exactly do you sort through the SNI's and then once you've weeded out the bad ones, how exactly do you pick which good one you want to work with? (After you've finished your current project of course.)

Tagged Part Two

This is part two because I was sleepy and tired and watching Grey's Anatomy. So I left my tagged piece unfinished, part one can be found here. Or, because I know some people are lazy like me, if you don't want to click the link for fear of straining those writing fingers, just look two posts down.



14. What's everyone else's favorite story that you've written?

Hold on one second, let me ask my family... so Baby Sis, likes my current WIP, even though it isn't finished. My friend Maeve, loves Last Summer and Now my first ever finished manuscript that is now happily collecting dust on my nice shelf of retires. My friend Jessica likes what I've written of We Are the Plague. Mom likes one that I stopped writing when I was in seventh grade,Cycle, it will most likely never be finished and for a good reason. And Dad well he is busy right now, so I don't know. But these people are all a tad biased. Of course Sara has read a bit here and there so she may have a favorite, but I have no idea.

15. Ever written romance or angsty teen drama?

Yes, that is what Last Summer and Now is, and I wish I could go back and edit it, but we aren't getting along very well. I still love Seath (my male protagonist) and Lia (the narrator) but I should change it to third person, and well that is going to take a lot of work and I want to write right now, maybe I'll edit eventually but like I said it is happily retired.

16. What's your favorite setting for your characters?

My post apocalyptic world in my current WIP. Underground tunnels, abandoned houses, and blood covered battle fields score.

17. How many writing projects are you working on right now?

Umm well, my WIP and He's With Me and something I'm not going to talk about right now, because we are in the fun I love you stage of our relationship. So three...maybe more, sometimes I just work on whatever pops into my head, it all depends.

18. Have you ever won an award for your writing?

Do school awards count? Because I was writer of the week in elementary school, twice, and I think, but cannot be sure, that I got some creative writing thing back in middle school. So not anything really real, but whatever, I love my cute little writer of the week piece.

19. What are your five favorite words?

Well, let me think...I don't really have favorites, more liked overused. Those would be smirk, chuckle, mummer, mumbled and pressing. I know the middle three are words that are abused constantly in the Twilight series (it is a series, by the way, not a saga, it cannot be a saga in any definition of the word, just so you know) So I try not to use them, because every time I do it jogs me out of my writing stance. Not. Cool.

20. What character have you created that is most like yourself?

Lydia, from Last Summer and Now, just because we think the same, and most of the choices she made were similar to choices I would have made. That and I did set it in my favorite vacationing spot. Shh...don't tell...

21. Where do you get ideas for your characters?

Most of the time they just pop into my head when I'm doing something, like watching YouTube videos, people watching, reading, listening to music. Anything can trigger a character to walk into my head and talk to me, sometimes other people do Marissa, as spoken about as the most annoying character, well her name means sea of bitterness, and she was inspired by someone who I find obnoxious beyond belief.

22. Do you ever write based on your dreams?

Yes, He's With Me is based off a nightmare I had, where my best childhood friend died and I couldn't cry. To this day I remember it vividly, it was the kind of nightmare that was so realistic when you wake up you believe it really happened. I was under the impression for about five minutes that my oldest childhood friend had died and actually reached to call Sashi (one of my besties) to make sure it wasn't true. Then a few months later Kali walked into my head and told be about her dead boyfriend and how she never cried. I can only assume that she came about because the nightmare was constantly on my mind. A couple other scenes have been inspired by snippets of dreams I remember, but no other complete novels. Wait no, not true the original opening scene for my current WIP was a dream that I had back in sixth grade.

23. Do you favor happy endings?

No, hell no. Happy endings, in my opinion, are a tad overrated, and really nothing is an ending unless your protagonist dies and even then it is still a beginning. Life isn't ever going to tie up in a nice red ribbon,you can have a happy beginning, an ending that leaves the reader with a sense of hope, but I do not believe in cookie cutter perfect endings. My characters may be happy when the book ends, they may have a positive outlook on the future, but making it so everything works out, seems like you're cheating your characters and your readers. Every human is going to face problems big and small, why are characters any different? They're real to me. Now, I'm not a Scrooge, my stories end nicely, for the most part, but like I said every ending is a beginning we just don't know of what yet. Of course I do end quite a lot of my stories, bittersweet, for lack of another word. So no I do not favor happy endings, because nothing is ever an ending.

24. Are you concerned with spelling and grammar as you write?

Not really, I've always been bad at spelling, always back in first grade I was having trouble, and grammar is no better. I don't worry about it as I write, I worry about it when I go back and read it over the first time, then I have my friend Molly go through, she is a stickler for grammar, then my aunt and then my dad's best friend. So as I write it is never really on my mind, but after because I know it is one of my weaker points, as has probably been noticed in the excerpts I've posted, it is one of my main focuses, second only to story content.

25. Does music help you write?

Yes, I just like the background noise, if there is too much silence I get stuck in my own head and have trouble putting words to paper. Sometimes it is an inspiration but most of the time it's just there for the extra noise, to keep me from myself.

26. Quote something you've written. Whatever pops into your head.

Umm...what if I can't think of anything? Because see now I've been put on the spot and I don't like that. Can I just scroll through my work until I've found something I like? Yeah I'm going to do that.

"You can say ou're over it but that doesn't mean you really are."
And...
"Words are just words, feelings are much stronger."

Oh but I did learn something that I feel should be shared with you, keep in mind I was bored in French class and tired and was so not thinking about the cutie who sits a few desks away from me...oky back to what I "learned" because there has got to be something wrong with its translation, I'm sure, it is: "Je voudrais, mais il faut que tu me embrasses." It is supposed to be, "I would but you have to kiss me", a rough and inaccurate translation but like I said I was bored in french today and asked Sashi how she thought it would be translated so she tried and well that's it. Happy Friday.

Oh and by the way, tag you're it.

8th Blog of Christmas Giveaway/Contest

So I felt I should tell everyone of you about PrincessBookie's blog contest, there are some awesome books, I talked about it before and left a link in my sidebar, but everyone needs to be reminded!So go on stop by and if you enter, don't forget to mention my name :) Happy Holidays, I'll be back later for a longer post.

Uh, I was Tagged!

So I was going to post today, per usual, and as I was reading my fellow bloggers blogs, Carrie, tagged everyone who read her blog who didn't have a posting plan for today. I am one of those people so I've been tagged. Which is kind of exciting, I love these bloggy things. They make my day. But before I go into the whole tagging process, (it's about writing, score!) I feel I should say that I was featured in my school newspaper! They were doing a segment for my club, Writers Club, I'm the President (and I'm only a Junior, double score). And they did a kind of mini featurette (not a real word, it sounds cool so I made itr up) on me. There was a little excerpt they used, it had been bigger they asked for two pages, from an important scene in my story and a cute pic. It was a nice piece, except they said I was an active participant in the school community. Lies. I'm in one club, a social butterfly I am not.

Onto the first half of the Tagged bit!

1. What's the last thing you wrote? What's the first thing you wrote that you still have?

Hmm...last thing I wrote was last night, I was modifying the piece that I've posted here like six times (see two posts down) for the drama teacher, because they wanted one act scenes for practice in class, and I was too lazy to write a new scene. The last thing I wrote that wasn't editing, modifying, or tampering with was I think Tuesday, I was writing a piece for my WIP.

The first thing I wrote that I still have...okay it is a memory piece that I wrote in second grade. Well it was supposed to be a memory piece but turned into more of a butchered memory with magical filled in gaps. It is embarrassing for me to read, but I find it interesting that at the time I could barely read, no seriously I struggled to read simple sentences, but managed to write something so creatively. But one that I know of but don't know where it is, is a poem my friends wrote with me when I was in kindergarten about my puppy Bear.

2. Write poetry?

I used to, I used to write a lot of poetry. My third grade teacher, who got me to read, got me to write, and helped show me the path I was destined to take early in life, used to make us write poetry everyday. I'm sure I have the little green flip notebook somewhere.

3. Angsty poetry?

I have written angsty poetry, ask me where it is I don't know, it is here somewhere. No I will not post any of it. My friend Kathryn, the face eating zombie one, calls me the queen of angst. So I don't know where any of it is, or if I'll find it. I think that is for the better.

4. Favorite genre of writing?

YA, easily. It's what I read, it's what I write.

5. Most annoying character you've ever created?

The most annoying? Wow, there are a lot of them, annoying characters, little annoying ones. But looking back, the most annoying, see now I've got to think about it...Marissa, a character in He's With Me, she isn't annoying per se, but she is a bitch.(Can I say that? I think I can say that) And that annoys me. She is one of the girls who is insensitive to Kali days after Mitch dies, and then proceeds to make a big show about how she and Mitch we once together, bladdy blah blah. I really don't like her, and lets just say when Tessa (Kali's bestie) punched her out, I was cheering.

6. Best plot you've ever created?

Uh...I don't know. I think my plot for We Are the Plague was pretty awesome, and the same for my current WIP. But I don't really want to choose...okay We Are the Plague is the best plot, and I think a banging title. But it is a retired plot, not because I don't love it, but because this isn't the time for me to write it.

7. Coolest plot twist you've ever created?

In my current WIP and its subsequently untitled sequel, *SPOLIERS* Declan believes Ashlyn is dead and vice versa. Of course this will be the second time they're separated, and it all but drives him insane okay well he does go a little psycho crazy for a long time. But I mean he thinks she is dead for five years that's one heck of a long time, and so gives up some of his morals for his revenge, which blows up in his face when she's not dead, causing a lot of issues. Their reunion though, is well pretty epic. Have I told you I love Declan? Because I do, so much.

8. How often do you get writer's block?

A lot. And I hate it, but my block tends to be brought about by stress, aka school. So yeah...it isn't kind of never ending, I get the most written on weekends, school breaks and God bless summer vacation, because I can stay up until the wee hours of four a.m. and sleep till noon and write until my fingers blister and bleed. Yes I do look forwards to those days. But writers block plagues me quite often, that is why I keep dark chocolate bars at my immediate disposal, and chamomile tea at the ready.

9. Write fan fiction?

Yes, yes I do, always started never finished, it helps me break my block. Writing other peoples characters is almost therapeutic. Never finished, never published CSI: NY fanfics. And I totally read them. All the time, it is another internet thing that sucks up my time.

10. Do you type or write by hand?

Both, my school notebooks are full of notes scribbled to myself and little bits and pieces here and there, and I have a five section notebook stuck under my pillows. But when I get home I sit in front of the computer and write, well when I'm not doing chores.

11. Do you save everything you write?

Yes, I save it all, well most of the time. I like having as many bits as possible to look back on because you never know, through all that garbage there may be some little diamond jewels.

12. Do you ever go back to an idea after you've abandoned it?

All the time, my WIP is a perfect example of that. I just like looking back and seeing where I've come from and what I've written, because again, you never know what you'll find.

13. What's your favorite thing you've ever written?

This is a hard one, I have four scenes that I adore, one from my current WIP the one that has been posted on here, the catalyst scene in He's With Me, the death of an MC in Tears of an Angel (a happily retired tale) and a scene that does not exist because it means I'm cheating on my WIP that and I don't know where the story is going yet.

So yep, that's it for now, I'm kind of tired and will post the rest tomorrow, promise!

Today, and Giveaways!

Today was one of those days where I'm glad I do what I do.

Write, I mean.

I was meeting with my guidance counselor today, college prep stuff (icky), but as I was sitting with her and my parents talking, and I realized that I am a lot luckier than some of my classmates. Granted I'm not the smartest, far from it, and I'm not the most popular or the prettiest, and no I do not spend my Friday and Saturday nights partying. To a lot of my classmates that isn't something to really be proud about. But unlike them, I know what I want to do, I know how I want to spend my life. Most of them can't say that.

So today, I'm proud to be a little too grown up. I want to be a writer, and I want to be a teacher. My classmates, most don't have any clue what they want to do this weekend, let alone the rest of their life. But I do. Course I don't know what college I want to go to, but I'm a step closer than anyone else, and I feel good about that. And that feeling of accomplishment felt really good, and wiped away the stress I've been feeling about this whole process, and for a moment I forgot about the tests I still have to take, and the grades I still have to make and the GPA I have to keep up, and I just felt relieved. It was nice.

Of course then I got home and found out that I won Jades contest! *Squee*!!!! This is really exciting because I rarely win things and this is two contests I've won. I'm very excited by this and I just have to say thank you so much Jade, thank you, thank you, thank you!

And then I feel that I have to mention, these awesome giveaways that are going on for Christmas. There is one on PrincessBookie's blog, (there are some really good books on this list, I want almost all of them ) And if you don't follow her you should because her blog has led me to many a good read.

There is also one going on The Library Lounge Lizard's blog as well (ditto for this one, between these two blogs it's like my entire Christmas list). These are some pretty awesome giveaways, from really cool bloggers, and I figure I'd try my luck. You should pop on over and take a look. They're pretty cool.

Then today in English class my friend Kathryn and I were talking about the people we ship in TV shows and somehow we got onto some random topic, about zombies, and Kathryn said something that I just had to write on my wrist because I had to post. It was this "True love is eating your boyfriends face off when he dies, because you're a zombie." Now how we got to this is a long story, but I thought it was funny. She was mocking Twilight and her favorite TV show at the same time, rare, very rare. Because anyone who knows Kathryn knows she is a devout shipper, so of course no offense is meant. I just thought it was funny.

So how was your today?

Just Awesome!

Mariah just had her 200th blog post and I think we should all take a moment of silence to watch in awe as she remains witty and upbeat day after day on her blog.

*crickets(the good kind, not the awkward silence kind)*

*watching intently(but not in a stalker-ish way)*

*Breaks into rounds of booming applause*

Congrats Mariah! It is quite the land mark!!!!!

And on top of that today is Unofficial Official Agent Day, as brought to my attention by Sara in her most recent posts. Of course I don't have an agent, but still, I feel I should acknowledge Agents regardless, because well without agents publishing would be a trillion times harder. So thank you to all the Agents out there, you guys rock.

As you all know I've been working on my WIP Of Untitled Proportions and quite a few blogs ago I mentioned how I had something to share with you guys but had to wait a little while before I could because well, I didn't want to ruin the surprise!!!!!!!

So the scene that I posted up here, I-don't-know-how-many-times, the one Mariah, (Bless Her) helped me edit! (Mariah, you rock) So I could send it out for the college program I'm applying to. The link posted is not to the edited version, I didn't post it, but I can if you'd like. I figured the same thing over and over again becomes kind of tedious. Back on topic... well my friend Brian, who deserves the awesomest most awesome award, drew me a picture for it. And it is perfect. PERFECT!!!!!!!!

I couldn't wait to get on here and blog about it, he literally dropped it off at my house no more than an hour ago, and I am on here telling you guys because it rocks, he rocks. Brian, I owe you!!!!!!!

So without further ado....

...








Oh My God!!!! Every time I look at it I get the chills, I also get really squee-y and giggly and my vocabulary goes out the window and all I can seem to say is "it's so perfect!" and I throw in 'like' and 'Oh My God' and that has been all I've been capable of verbally expressing for at least the last hour. That and there has been a lot of bouncing around squealing.

I know you can't really see it on the computer screen but Declan's eyes are so powerful under their cloak of darkness! *Squee* They seriously look like threatening her is causing him physical pain. Brian you're amazing!

Oh and I can't forget, I'd like to introduce you guys to Kayla, she is my friend, and an awesome writer, recently she has picked up her blog again, and I would like to say welcome back!

So yep, that's it for today really, awesome people, congrats again Mariah, the amazing agents, and this awesome picture. It is now the background of my computer. Yes I am that crazy...shh don't talk about it... :P

I'm going to go off, all inspired and stare at it for a little while more before I sit down and start talking to Declan and Ash again.

...

Fortunes and Stuff

So, I've given up on the weekly thirds day, not because I don't love it, because I totally do, but it makes me feel really, really, really, conceded. I don't like that feeling. So I may burst into random third personness, you will have to deal. So today whilst consuming a fortune cookie, my fortune was "Minds are like parachutes, they only function when open." Now I really like fortunes, I keep the ones I really like, and the ones that I find ironic. Awhile ago my little sister got one about writing a novel, and I tried to grab it so I could post about the irony because my sister does not like creative writing, or even research writing. But alas it was disposed of before I could get my hands on it. Sad days.

I'm begin featured in my school paper, as the President of our writers club they interviewed me and one of my pieces is going to be featured in it! So exciting! Now I have no idea when this thing is going to get published, last year we only had about four editions of our paper, and one came out early October so I may have to wait till like January, but I really don't care because it is just so exciting!

So I"m still working on my NaNo story, little by little, and trying to work on He's With Me and I'll admit, yes my focus is split over a couple more stories. I'm trying to focus but I write when the ideas pop into my head, and well High School does not allot for much time to write. High School hates me, hates me, hates me. And the feeling may just be mutual. Ick.

My final word count for NaNoWriMo was about 20,005. Nowhere near 50,000 but a nice chunk, if I do say so myself.

Oh, but I have a quote from one of my WIP of Untitled Proportions, a quote I rather like, it is a part of a dream sequence/old memory then after he wakes up:

"Declan looked down at his hands, they were covered in her blood; the crimson substance was dripping off his fingers. The force that had kept his reason for living alive soaked his clothes, dampened his skin and grew cold on his fingers. He’d let her die. He’d failed. But worst of all he’d broken his promise.

“ASHLYN!” Declan jerked awake his scream echoing through the prison cell. He glanced down at his shaking hands expecting the blood that had dampened them five years ago to still be there, to have sunken into his skin, permanently dying it. As a reminder of his broken promises a reminder of how he’d failed. A reminder that she was dead. In denial he began to look for his dog tags, his hands frantically gasping at his throat as he searched for them. But they weren’t there they hadn’t been there in five years, because she had been wearing them when she died."

So I like it, and I actually turned it in as a creative writing English assignment...hehe :P.

And that's it for today, I'm not very witty when it comes to posting like topics and stuff, so I'm going to have to work on it. Really work at it, it is going to take some time. Until then onward to my scribblings and illegible words in my notebook.

Awards and Stuff!

So the lovely Mariah, gave me my first ever blog award! The Honest Scrap award:


And before I go into the ten things I have to say about me, I have to give the award to ten other deserving bloggers, but I'm very, very, very new to this, so my friends on here are limited and a lot of the people to whom I would have given the award to have already received it, so a few of those I"m giving it to have already been awarded it, but you guys are just that awesome. The award receivers are: K.M., Jade, Kat, Jessica(BookLover), Carrie and the other two people who I would have given the award to(but already received it) were Sara, and Mariah. But Sara's already been awarded it, and Mariah gave it to me. Thank you again Mariah! ^__^

So the things no one knows about me....

1. Almost all my current pets have Irish names, i.e. Seamus, McAllister, Finnegan and I was going to get a kitten named Tavish (Mac and Finn's little bro, but he got adopted by someone else). To coincide with this, I am also a crazy cat lady in training. There is no doubt in my mind that one day I will own many a cat. And FYI they will be named after my favorite super heroes.

2. I couldn't read until I was about nine years old. I wasn't exactly illiterate, but even simple sentences seemed as though they were impossible. I hadn't even thought about writing, let alone being an author, until my third grade teacher started playing the first HP book on tape in class, she had to stop because a students parents didn't want him reading it. By then I was hooked. I stole the tapes from my dad (he had bought the book on tape a few years before) and when my parents caught me, they made me finish reading. After that I read the first four HP books in the span of two months, I would have kept reading, except the first four were the only ones published. This lead to my nickname from third grade through fifth, Hayley Potter.

3. I love country music.

4. I once owned a Rottweiler-Chow Mix, named Bear, because he looked like a bear cub when we got him. He was the best dog ever, he had a spotted tongue, it was pink and purple.

5. I wanted to be an actress when I was younger, I actually wrote a piece that was featured in a mash-up of mini plays that my fourth grade put on. Mine was totally a rip off of Romeo and Juliet, but it got in, and I played the lead. It was pretty cool, except it was written as a tragedy and my Principal made it into a comedy. Not cool.

6. I can't stand to shop, unless it's for books, I can shop for books until the cows come home, but I can't stand shopping for anything else. In fact I'm pretty sure I could live quite contently in Borders or Barnes and Noble.

7. I have over 200 books on my book shelves currently,. These books are alphabetized by author. Yes, my CDO is showing. I have at least 100 in storage, and about fifty in my book boxes, where I keep books that I want to read but haven't gotten around to yet.

8. I cry when I read books, or when I see movies. They can be the least sad thing in the world and I'll cry when they're over, or when something sweet happens. I cried watching the Princess Protection Program with my little sister a few days ago, and the Queen said something to her daughter and for some unknown reason I burst into tears. Mind you this doesn't happen all the time, just occasionally, and more so with books than movies but it does happen.

9. All my favorite characters tend to either die or end up unhappy for the rest of their lives. For example, Sirius Black, Fred Weasley, Marcus (from Babalon 5), Robin Hood (From the BBC TV show), Allen A Dale (also from Robin Hood TV show, I'm very upset about this one, he had pretty blue eyes), Will (From His Dark Materials), Jonathan (from Midnighters) and plenty more. With the exception of Jacob Black, but you can ask Sara I pretend that Breaking Dawn doesn't exist.

10. I want a tattoo, a nose piercing and a bellybutton piercing, but I am terrified of needles, and don't have the guts, to actually go through with it. So magnetic studs and henna are what I'm sticking with. Forever.

That's it about me, nothing else really... I had a really fun Thanksgiving, I hope everyone else did too, for those who celebrate it, and as for everyone else I hope your average week was a good one. :) Oh and I'm writing again, but I'm not sure where its going yet so the story is going to be hush hush for now...

Saturday Catch Up

Yeah I've been absent for a couple of days, but for good reason. I have these new characters in my head, and I'm not sure if I'm going to write their story or not. Still debating, I've been ubber busy. I went to see New Moon last night for my friends birthday, yes, yes I did go for Jacob and Jacob alone yes I did. He is the best character in that series.

Safe to say the theater was ridiculously crowded, and every single time any male figure of any level of attraction came on screen all you could hear was the gaggle of screams from the fan girls. My friends and I spent most of the movie screaming at everyone to shut up. But it wasn't just us, every few rows some was yelling at everyone else to just be quiet and watch the movie. Really, the first time okay I understand but every single time he appears? Really? You need to blow out the rest of the audiences eardrums every time you see anyone who is slightly attractive? Granted at one point my friends and I did make some snide comments, right in the beginning and got a dose of our own medicine, we weren't doing anything too bad just whispers to one another, and a girl in front of us asked us to shut up. We did, and then I felt bad about talking, so we stayed quiet.

Oh Jade I went to a JV football game yesterday, told you I would. It was against our biggest rival we lost but Varsity won this afternoon, missed the one today because I slept in, I've only been up for four hours, but when you're out till after 11 hanging with your friends that's what happens :P. And I was distracted all week by my TV shows, is anyone else a fan of the Puck/Quinn paring on Glee or is it just me? I know he's a jerk, but he's trying and I think he cares about her. I also think Finn is beyond immature. But that is just my opinion. And Grey's please, please, fix your show, I love you so much Grey's, I really do. So because I love you I'm going to come right out and say it, you need to fix your show. Get rid of the chick who took Georges locker, bring Izzie back and work on the writing. You used to be full of amazing lines, amazing characters, and have now stooped so low as to bring in a long lost pregnant daughter into the midst, this is sending you down the path to becoming a soap opera. You have been forewarned. Now to continue on...

I sent out that piece for the college program I applied for. A day before it had to be in the mail and I'm worried it wont get marked or get lost, that occupied my mind for quite awhile this past week. So now I wait. Wait until March when I hear back, that is so long, and I just want to know now. Patience is not my virtue. Obviously.

Now I have to go write, and write, and try as hard as I can to decide how I'm going to be spending the rest of my weekend. And hey Thanksgiving is coming up, I have a three day school week. Score! So how has everyone else been while I've been very absent from blogging?

Checking Up

So how's NaNo going for everyone? I'm very behind, thousands of words behind, but its okay because I'm actually not ripping my hair out with stress and have managed to make it through my grading period rather unscathed, with the exception of one grade that will be dealt with tomorrow. So how is everyone else doing with NaNoWriMo, or in some cases NaNoRevisMo?

My English/Way to write NaNo in school, is going very well I am very pleased with it. And I came up with an awesome quote today while walking my dog, Seamus. If you've noticed from earlier posts all my animals with the exception of my eldest cat have Irish names. Seamus, is Seamus Cujo, Yes, yes my dog is named after Stephen Kings rabid St. Bernard. (My bestie decided on his middle name.) I was talking to my characters, yes out loud it helps me think, and Kali said something really awesome! It was "It's like God is playing some cruel joke on me, and I can't laugh." Now think what you may but I rather liked it, especially because she was/is no longer religious (long story). But anyways she and Darren have finally decided how to tell me how they resolved their conflicts enough so they could become friends, and I rather like the way it plays out.

So I'm going to go and write that now, while they are having a good time chatting in my ear.

Thirds Day!

Hayley remembered thirds day today! Yes! *Does proud of herself dance, and falls on her face*

Now that Hayley has embarrassed herself, by dancing and then displaying her clumsiness. We shall continue...so Hayley managed, after much hair pulling, screaming and aggravated eating, preformed by her family members, to cut her writing down, massively. It all but killed her, and then when discussing the writing with her teachers (who are awesome by the way) was given mixed feedback. They liked it, but didn't think it had a wow factor, it is an excerpt so she supposes that's because well she can only fit so much onto a one page doubled spaced size ten word document.

So she would like to ask her blogging buddies (hehe she has blogging buddies, that makes her very giddy) what they think of her revamped, edited and liposuctioned piece, be honest please. She can take it.

The light from the burning town miles away pressed through the wooden panels that obscured the windows. Ashlyn tugged on her tank top, ran a hand through her cropped hair, and bit her lip as she began to kick a piece of the wood, avoiding his eyes, she’d missed him, and it hurt. He’d hurt her.


“I can’t believe this!” Declan ignored her, focused on one escape route; through the city in the abandoned subway tunnels. The plank groaned beneath her unceasing attack “I stayed behind for a reason!”

“And what was that to get yourself killed?” Declan held the binoculars up to his eyes, gazing at the camp on the outskirts of their old home. But they wouldn’t have killed her, and that was worse than dying. He’d die before he let that happen to her. Declan shook his head trying to focus, to gain control.

“No moron, I don’t see why you care anyways why are you here? Why aren’t you back with the army? You left me—you left five years ago; you should have never come back! I don’t need you!”

“Ashlyn be quiet they might hear you” Declan glanced at her for the first time since they’d gotten to the safe house. Her hair was shorter now; she had changed in every way possible. Even if she’d been disfigured he could have recognized her a mile away. She wasn’t a child anymore, they weren’t children.

“And I care because?” Because she’d kept him alive, brought him home, because he needed her.

“Just shut up Ashlyn, they have super senses. How can you not get this? If they get any closer and you keep yelling they will hear you.” Ashlyn brushed this off continuing on her tirade.

“Declan what are you doing here? No one wanted you here; I don’t see why you even had to come back—”

“Ashlyn!” Declan’s voice was stern echoing smoothly across the darkened room, his grey eyes blazing with anger.

“If you don’t shut up” he pulled his gun from its holster “I’m going to shoot you.” he aimed it at her. Ashlyn looked from his gun to him and stepped forward her golden eyes never leaving Declan’s face. He stared back, gaze unwavering, hand steady, as she moved closer until the barrel of the gun was pressed against her bare skin, brushing the neckline of her tank top, right above her heart.

“Do it.” She breathed “You killed me once, go on do it again.” Declan didn’t move his eyes never leaving her face; holding the pistol ever steady “Pull the trigger.” She whispered.

“Ash” he exhaled, she stared back at him, her expression blank, her eyes angry and hateful.

“Go on Declan, do it, pull the trigger.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

So Hayley would like to know what you think...Oh Hayley was in New York City yesterday for a school art trip. And has to ask a question how do other kids get away with escaping the field trips? They sign in and disappear until they need to check in again, where do they disappear to you may ask? Well Hayley asked, they disappeared into the city, moseying around NYC for seven hours. Hayley wishes that she had more gumption and could do that too, but she just can't. She's too much of a good girl.

So Hayley has really nothing else to talk about, and she wishes she did because this post seems very bland. But Hayley now has to leave this snippet be and move onto the piece she has to write for her English class, yes she gets to write a creative piece for English!!!! And its due tomorrow, she hasn't exactly started yet, but her reasons are reasonable, she's been focusing on this, something that means more to her than a school assignment. Hayley should reorganize her priorities but she is quite happy with the way they are, and the assignment will get done. Tonight, even if she has to stay up late. She understands it's part of the writing gig, late nights less sleep. She's fine, she'll get through it.

So she says onward! Onward to her writing for fun/class/but mostly fun!!!!!!!

I Wish

I'm applying for this college program for creative writers in May, only five kids from my school are allowed to apply, only two have the chance of getting in. I am one of those lucky five kids. I know exactly which piece I want to submit. Except I have to cut it down to fit the parameters of the application. Cut it down, a lot, *tear* and I'd rather liked it the size it was.

I sit at my computer cutting word after word of this thing that has to be submitted by the 17th, however my teachers can't look at it until grading is over and grading doesn't end until this Friday, not exactly allowing for a large range of editing. Ick.

Today I wish for a machine that can cut the words for me. Yes I want a machine that I can place my writing in, almost like a scanner, that then identifies which words need to be disposed of, which words are like the unnecessary sprinkles on a already over sugary piece of cake. That is what I wish for right now. Course this bit isn't very sugary, maybe salty, its kind of bitter sweet. Hmm...

So now back to giving my writing liposuction.

Changes, Changes, Changes

So I've been making a lot of changes lately, changes to my story line, changes to my characters quirks and actions. I've even gone so far as to change one of my characters names, something I haven't done in ages. I haven't changed a name so far into a story idea in years. The idea for my Current WIP came to me ages ago, back when I was in about sixth grade, so these characters have been in my head for about five years. My female protagonists name, for as long as I can remember has always been Jessie, I don't ever recall even considering another name for her. But as of recently changes I've made to her character have made me start to second guess myself, something I do quite a lot to be honest.

Jessie's character has grown and changed in the past five years, one could argue she grew with me which I guess she did. But so as she and Declan have been chattering about in my head I've decided that she needs a new name. His, his fits perfectly, but as of recently I've noticed that he doesn't call her Jessie anymore, and I believe her changes are what's been making writing this new story so hard. Now that I know how she's changed, grown stronger I think, I can properly address her by her rightful name and work with her. I was focused on the old Jessie, and the new Jessie, she didn't want to be that weak character anymore, she wants to be strong. Really what writer would argue that? Of course I'm still kind of on the fence about the name change, not so sure about it yet, but if it doesn't work out I can always change it back if need be.

I know I'm not the only one making changes, Kat not three days ago changed the entire tense of her NaNo novel The Plural of Love and Jade is setting herself goals for the remainder of the year, something she said she's never really done before. Nothing seems to be going as planned this November.

Oh so Jessie's new name is Ashlyn, Ash for short, I like it, it's stronger and it taps into her fathers culture, something she prides herself on through her story. I'm going to go back and change it, soon. I like her name, it's one of my favorites I've used it in a bunch of sort stories. I can't wait to get back to her story, Declan has got to be one of my favorite male protagonists of all time. (Shh...don't tell the others boys that, they'll get jealous).

Anyone else making changes? I've noticed it's quite the trend recently.

-2,000 Words Later

So, Hayley missed Thirds Day*tear*, and she remembered it at about four a.m. when Mac and Finn decided it was time to wake up. Yay!

So, last night while watching Bones and Grey's I was rereading the most recent snippet of He's With Me, and figured out what had caused my block that made me flip out when Nov. started. So I cut over 2,000 words and think I've figured it out. I also found the opening I wrote for my WIP of Untitled Proportions, located, wait try and guess...in my messy bedroom, that I cleaned today!

Oh and then I jumped onto the computer and found out that I won an book (my first contest win yeah!^__^) on the lovely Sara's blog, (you know she was my first writer friend, yes I'm serious, she is the coolest) in celebration of ISPAW, which is like the coolest Pirate holiday ever! I'm serious, I love the entire crew of the Rapid Meander, so much that I read the story during my classes the first few weeks of school. Yeah, Lu and Yazoo overheard a lot about the graphing of algebraic equations, sentence structure and U.S. history. But it was so worth it, because the story is freakin' amazing. Thank you Sara, I will email you soon!

So yeah, I have some writing to catch up on and a lot of reading to do, and maybe a football game to attend later tonight, maybe haven't decided if I will muster the school spirit, maybe just to see my friends in the pep band-hehe. Oh and my friend Brian well, I can't talk about it just yet, but I will soon, I love Brian he's awesome but I can't talk about it yet. So you'll have to wait a little while and then trust me you'll know.

Oh did anyone notice that I finally learned how to link things? Yes, I know I should have figured it out awhile ago, seeing as I've been blogging for a month, and I didn't I admit it is very sad but I figured it out.

Nothing Really Related to Writing.

Word count as of Nov. 2, 2920. A little behind but nothing I can't handle. So to get to the bit that isn't related to writing: I have these two kittens McAllister and Finnegan, and I love these kittens, they sleep with me every night. And I have these PJ shorts, cute little boxer shorts, they are my favorite pair of PJ shorts. A couple of days ago these shorts disappeared. And I found them, in my kittens litter box. A few days later, I found one of my favorite PJ shirts, in the same exact place, after I'd removed my shorts from the litter box. So either my kittens love me as much as I love them and need to have a bit of me with them at all times, or they hate my sense of style and decided to get a message across by literally going to the bathroom on my clothes. Favorite clothes. And they're little snots, so I know it was purposeful.

Anywho, I'm behind on NaNo but with good reason I spent most of my time on my day off Tuesday, working in the yard. A lot of yard work. Oh and I got fourteen hours of blissful sleep. It was very nice. Have I told you guys how much I love my little "brother" Danny? Because I love him. So, as posted before I got to go to Barnes and Noble, which may just be my favorite bookstore. (Aside from the cute 75% off store that recently closed *tear*.) So we get into the store and I immediately run to retrieve Morganville Vampires: Fade Out, by Rachel Caine and Dear John by Nicolas Sparks. So we're in the YA section and Danny who tagged along, points out Catching Fire, the sequel to The Hunger Games. Now I'd been waiting to save up to get this book, or get it for Christmas, whichever came first, money or holiday. He asks if I'm going to read it, I say eventually. He then proceeds to tell me he owns a copy, and asks if I want it. I ask if I can keep it forever, I really like to keep my books it's a CDO thing, I'm sure. And he says yes. When we go home, he just gives me the book. I love him. Then my sister purchased a book I also wanted and said once she was done I could have it. Then today as I returned to B&N (long unnecessary story as to why) I found another book I've been waiting for but wasn't aware had been published again. So my dad bought it for me. I love my family. I was really blessed when it came to books this week, yes!

Now, I'm getting on with NaNo. Uh huh, I'm going to write right now, after I take the dog for his figure eight walk. Thanks again you guys for helping me break out of my block.

Ooh look a short post, yeah!

Thank You Everyone! :)

So a special thanks to Jade, Sara, Mariah, K.M. Who helped me over my returning writers block freak out. Because when I freak out I Freak Out, Sara, is very aware of this. So thank you. After all your help yesterday my word count totalled to 1,528 but I'll admit, I actually made it to a scene I'd written in a journal and so I plugged that into the computer, so really my word count was around 1,000 but that is infinitely better than the big fat goose egg that had been rolling around in my mind and taunting me all day.

Thank you :D

And hopefully I'll make up for it tonight and tomorrow, pray for rain people pray for rain and then I won't have to do yard work (yes!) which will allot for not only more time writing, but reading because Morganville Vampires: Fade Out comes out tomorrow, and frankly I need that book. I squirreled away twenty dollars for the past four months (yes saving that much money for books is hard for me, I have a book addiction and read faster than the library can supply them) and plan to buy that and Dear John by Nicolas Sparks because I am shameless, just saw the trailer for it with Channing Tataum (who Mariah if you're reading, he should totally be in one of your resident expert posts, just saying), and now I must read the book. Yeah.

Hey look a short post! Yes, I'm improving. Thanks again you guys totally saved me. ^__^

Block is Back!

Someone please help me. So November starts, and I'm pumped I've got my chocolate on supply, my laptop at the ready. Ready. To. Go.

Or not so much.

See I'm a big Halloween buff, like big. It has to be my favorite holiday second only to Christmas.(Which is for religious reasons and because well lets face it who doesn't love to get books?) But so yesterday my Halloween did not go so hot, lots of unnecessary drama. And I find that sitting at my computer today I cannot write to save my life. Not one word at all. Well I mean I can write something, but every word I seem to write I hate.

So I need help, aside from therapy which I am aware I need. Any advices as to how to get rid of this block? I just need it to go away, for NaNo. And because I think if I go another school year without writing anything, I will go clinically insane. Yes, I'm serious.

Hey look a short post, I'm making progress, not for a good reason but still glass half full progress

WIP of Untitled Proportions

So my NaNo story has no title, I have no idea what on earth to call it. But here is the summary, I figured I should post something about it, so I could add it to my Current Projects sidebar (hehe I have a sidebar, yes that does make me very happy). So here is my little, or not so little, summary bits thingamagig, which is long. My apologies I guess writing short blogs is not my forte, but I am trying, that has to count for something.

Nemotractus, a word that has haunted a people for generations, all but demonic creatures created by scientists as they searched to make life, to commit an act against God. For over one hundred years soldier’s with no conscience, enhanced skills, horizontal pupils and the ability to heal from any fatal wound, have ravaged the earth under the control of other humans. Power hungry dictators who want nothing more than to purge the world of those they feel are unworthy of life, an attempt to perfect the human race. These warriors are Nemotractus, originally created in the hopes of finding a way to sustain human life, however human bodies rejected the organs, and then the soldier was created. They’re almost impossible to kill, nukes don’t hurt them, and bullets only slow them down. For over one hundred years a feeble human resistance has kept them at bay, lacking the power to create their own soldiers, the group of the free located in the places that once were North America, Australia, and parts of Europe.

Declan’s a soldier groomed his entire life by his community to fight for the resistance, to join the army on his fifteenth birthday. Orphaned when he was nine he was adopted by the O'Hara's. He was raised alongside Ashlyn two years his junior, she became his best friend. They were inseparable, until an event tore the family apart spurring Declan to lie about his age joining the army at fourteen, leaving Ashlyn behind and never looking back. It’s been five years and after receiving the Medal of Honor, for having one of the highest kill counts, for being wounded as he tried, and succeeded, to save most of his platoon, Declan has been sent back home. Home to the family he’d left behind, to the best friend he’d abandoned. In those five years a lot has changed, the resistances' borders have been steadily pushed back, his old town is now right on the cusp of the fight, one loss away from being annihilated. It’s empty, save for a few people struggling to escape, and Ashlyn, his Ashlyn. But Ashlyn isn’t a helpless little girl anymore; she isn’t the little kid he’d always had to protect. She’s most definitely not the girl he left behind.

Thrust together as the town collapses around them, Ashlyn and Declan have no choice but to work together, if either of them is going to come out alive. Ashlyn doesn’t trust him, and Declan has a secret, a secret that could set their people free, a secret that could help them win. It’s the reason he left, the reason everything happened. It involves the Nemotractus, and a way to kill them, a scientific error overlooked because of its insignificance, ignored because no one thought that could ever be a problem. But his knowledge puts him in danger, it puts Ashlyn in danger, and he would never be able to live with himself if something happened to her, even though she wants him dead.

So what do you think?

Happy Halloween!

So Happy Halloween, I hope yours was a lot more fun that mine was. I dressed up as Jezebel Redfern, half human/ half vampire, vampire slayer. Yes that is confusing, but she's so cool. Jez is one of my favorite characters in the Night World series by L.J. Smith, and her soulmate Morgead, well lets just say I wish he was real. Because I love him. But so yeah, I had an awesome costume and looked bad, but in a good way. So I hope everyone had a fun Halloween and that you had a good time. :)

Hey look it's a short post, I didn't know I was capable of writing a short post!

Thirds Day

Hayley has decided today she is going to talk about herself in the third person. Third person Thursdays, this is going to be a regular occurrence, you have been forewarned. Here's the thing Hayley gets bored easily in class, very easily, a fly on the wall or even the cute guy who sits next to her in chemistry class can distract her mind in a second...thankfully other people can't read minds or they'd think Hayley's ADD means she's certifiable. Oh wait that's because she is. So Hayley was bored in chemistry, and though she should have been writing the essay that was due seventh period she was day dreaming and doodling in her notebook, not taking notes and so not thinking about the cute guy who sits next to her. Of course. And then she began to write...bum bum bum!

But this writing wasn't supposed to be written at least not in chemistry in October, see Hayley has a confession, she'd decided to work primarily on one WIP for NaNo and then play around with two others. However, here comes another confession, she had to write it. Actually, technical she had already written the scene, she found it under her bed a few days ago. It was one of those gifts that her subconscious writer left her months ago, scribbled in one of the million notebooks floating around her room. In this case under her bed. A small notebook her father had given her, one that once her kittens had arrived it ended up under her bed. So Hayley stumbled across it while she was grabbing McAllister out from under her bed, the little boy was crying and crying because he was between the bed and the wall. And then low and behold beneath the paws of her little back and white kitten Hayley found a notebook. Not surprising because there is a 'Hayley' notebook in at least every room of the house, save for the bathrooms cause there is no space. At first glance it was just another notebook, a blank first page, this is because Hayley never writes on the first page of a notebook (yes she knows that's her CDO showing), so of course the notebook looked empty.

The next night Hayley was hyped up on a little bit of caffeine and well she couldn't sleep so she opened her notebook, with the intention of writing illegibly until she dozed off, and found the gift. You know those little scrawled notes writers leave themselves all over the place a line here, a ripped, water stained napkin there. And Hayley loved it. The scene not only was on her mind the entire next day, yes on her mind enough to stop her from focusing on any and all chemistry and french distractions, but it stayed with her. She did plan on waiting until NaNo to rewrite it, but the idea wouldn't shut up and Hayley doesn't know how to tell her writing no. So she wrote it. She figured she wasn't going to participate in NaNo officially anyways and well she needed to write this. Yes, needed to so desperately she was worried not writing it would suffocate her in her sleep. So she wrote it. As of now Hayley is drawing a blank for the title, and has only just today come up with a name for the evil minions in her story, yes they are being called Nemotractus, because that is an awesome name.

So here is an excerpt, long like this post and all her other posts, which Hayley sincerely apologizes for. From now on Hayley has decided she will try to keep them short and sweet. But Hayley also has a tendency to talk, and talk a lot, like she doesn't know when to stop, just ask Sara she knows better than anyone how much and how long Hayley can talk. And now for the long excerpt as promised:

The light from the burning town a mile away pressed through the wooden panels that covered the windows. Ashlyn tugged on the bottom of her tank top, running a hand through her cropped hair, and biting her lip as she paced back and forth in the tiny miserable space.

“I can’t believe this!” She shouted kicking a wooden panel angrily.

Declan didn’t say anything, he kept his mind focused. They were almost surrounded, with two ways to escape. They could go into the city and try to get out through the long abandoned subway tunnels, or try, and most likely fail, to sneak through the Nemo’s base camp; anything to just get out of the hot zone.

“I stayed behind for a reason.” She mumbled as she began to abuse the wood again. The thuds echoed around him as she kicked the wood again and again, it groaned beneath her unceasing attack.

“And what was that to get yourself killed?” Declan scoffed, holding the binoculars up to his eyes and gazing out at the camps that lay on the outskirts of their old home. Of course he knew they wouldn’t have killed her, they didn’t kill women, they took them prisoners. It was worse than dying. He shook his head trying to focus, trying to gain control, that wouldn’t happen to her, he wouldn’t let it. The patrol was circling the camp spreading out further as they circled around and around their campsite. Expanding their perimeter, increasing their control covering all the bases, they didn’t want anyone to escape.

“No, you moron, I don’t see why you care anyways why are you here? Why aren’t you back living it up in the army, you left without looking back five years ago what makes you think anyone from then wants to see you now? You should have stayed with the army you should have never come back. No one wants you here.”

“Ashlyn be quite they might hear you” Declan said glancing back over at her for the first time since they’d gotten to the safe house, the first time all night. Her hair was shorter now than it had been when he’d left; she had changed in every way possible, but even if she’d been horribly disfigured he could have recognized her a mile away.

“And I care because?”

“Just shut up Ashlyn. It will save us a lot of running, they have super senses, how can you not get this. If they get any closer and you keep yelling they will hear you.” Ashlyn brushed this off continuing on her tirade.

“Declan what are you doing here? No one wanted you here, I don’t see why you even had to come back—”

“Ashlyn!” Declans’ voice was stern echoing smoothly across the darkened room, his grey eyes sparking with anger.

“What!?” she spat as she spun towards him her red hair falling haphazardly across her face.

“If you don’t shut up” he pulled his gun from its holster “I’ll have to shoot you.” he aimed it at her. Ashlyn looked from his gun to him and stepped forwards her golden eyes never leaving Declans face. He starred back, gaze unwavering, hand steady, as she moved closer until the barrel of the gun was against her bare skin, next to the material of her tank top, right above her heart.

“Do it.” She breathed “You killed me once, go on do it again.” Declan didn’t move his eyes never leaving her face; holding the pistol ever steady.

“Pull the trigger.” She whispered.

“Ash” he exhaled, she stared back at him, her expression blank, her eyes angry and hateful.

“Go on Declan, do it, pull the trigger.”

So yeah, some editing is needed, okay a lot of editing, Hayley knows this, she is very aware of her editing problems. That and she apologizes for it being kind of hard to read because well she couldn't figure out how to get it to double space. She is still trying to get the gist of blogging. Internet+Hayley= trouble and system failures. Criticism is welcome, as always, but be honest and gentle Hayley is a fragile soul...
:P

Late Night

So today was mole day, for anyone who doesn't know what that a mole is(aside form the sometimes cute and fuzzy little critter), it's a measure of an atom 6.02 x 10^23, apparently some big thing in chemistry. I wasn't really paying all that much attention even though my school made a big deal out of it, and everything, and I did nothing in Chem. today, it was nice. I should warn you, this post is not related to writing at all, and its long, but I had something I had to say, that is not related to the Chem. mole.

I didn't exactly enjoy my nothing day. See today marks the five year anniversary of my friends death. And no one said anything. My school and State implemented numerous laws after she and her friend died in a car crash five years ago, and as of recently driving safety has been really big topic announced every day on the loud speaker. But today, they said nothing about what happened. I'm glad they didn't, because her brother who is my ex-best friend (very long story for a never post) is still in school with me, but I'm upset too. She died at seventeen, and it seems they've already forgotten about her.

We weren't close, I'll be the first to admit it, I was best friends with her younger brother for numerous years and he and I had a falling out awhile before she died, but she was my role model. I was a little kid and she was the closest I ever had to a big sister, she was the big girl on the block you look up to because she was pretty and smart and kind. I miss her. I wont lie she's been on my mind a lot recently, not only because five years is a long time and it doesn't seem like that much time has passed but because I'm one year younger than she was when she died, and it seems surreal. I would be kidding myself if I said that her death hasn't affected me in a major way, my fear of driving may be in direct correlation with her death. She was the first kid I'd ever known who died. I mean I'd experienced death multiple times before but never a death of someone so young, let alone the girl I'd admired my entire life.

So today I find myself sitting in class thinking about how I'm going to fail this English test (which I got a 68 on) and one of my friend says "FML" and today of all days all I could think to say was "Be thankful you have one, some people aren't that lucky." I didn't say anything, and I should have. Because in this day and age saying FML is common, I hear it at least once a day, to the point where I'll get exasperated or frustrated and I'll think it or want to say it. It's those moments when I kick myself, because I'm blessed to be alive, and I should cherish that life. As though saying FML is disrespectful to every person who lost their life before their time, or lost their life at all.

Then to top it off in the last minutes of my history course an announcement comes over the loud speaker, not just any announcement, an urgent one. The kind that makes your stomach sink and your hands shake because its so ominous you know nothing good can come from it. Turns out this announcement, hurriedly instructing teachers to check their emails immediately, an announcement that automatically made me think someone was dead just because of how it was phrased, was about the choking game. Some morons in my school were playing the choking game, filming it, and then sending a video of it around. I was brought back to my earlier thought, you need to be thankful for every breath you have because it could always be your last. I wanted to hit these kids, so bad, they have life and they're willing to put their life at risk, to kill off brain cells for a momentary high, when they could be out doing something with their life. It's not like they didn't know it was dangerous, there has been a lot of publicity about this, a lot of information has been provided, and still they think its okay to play it. While my friend had been dead for five years, she would have just graduated college, just been starting her life and she wasn't. And these idiots were playing the damned choking game.

I was so pissed off. All I could do was think its been five years since my friend died and here were a bunch of morons saying FML and playing a game that knowingly puts their life at risk. And they think its funny. They think its okay, my friend died because of a stupid car, that was going too fast on a windy day. She did everything right, she was wearing her seat belt she was an outstanding person and she died. Then these kids come around and are playing a game that they've been told is dangerous, we've had announcements and seminars about this before and they still think its okay. Games that put their life at risk, while my friend who was looking into colleges, was in a car that was going to fast, a car she wasn't even driving, something she had no control over, and she died while their looking for a high. Purposefully putting themselves in danger.

It makes me sad for my generation because it seems like especially in this day and age the old stereotype of teens thinking they're invincible and immortal is being proven true, everyday. The mentality of "Oh that will never happen to me" is showing itself more and more. These kids aren't just being disrespectful to themselves either, they're being disrespectful to the people who died playing this game, because they aren't taking it seriously. They're being disrespectful to anyone who died. They don't think in terms of action=consequence, they just don't think. So today, or I guess by the time anyone reads this, if anyone reads it, it will be tomorrow, I have one request. Go out and do something that will leave you with a sense of accomplishment, take yourself out of your comfort zone and do something you don't normally do. Go out and live. Because some of us aren't blessed with that chance, and you're a fool if you don't try to live life to its fullest because five years ago today is a perfect example of how life is fleeting, especially to the young.

Just Live.

My NaNoWriMo

So I did NaNo last year, and all it did was put me behind in school work, not that it matters but I accomplished very little and I wasn't "in love" exactly with what I was writing. Not positive, not negative, just a *sigh* kind of experience. I'm impartial I guess. But I want to do it so bad this year, because I love just writing, granted I didn't reach the 50k mark but I think that's okay. Because I was doing what I love, and in this day and age with college, driving, lots of best guy friend drama, dare I say it prom (which even though its months away is on my mind for NO reason, I want it to go away!), and umm actually increasing my GPA this year instead of letting it drop to get into said college, are all looming over my head. I need to write, if for nothing else, to relieve the stress being put upon me by these things.

Sounds simple right? Find an SNI, and let it simmer in the creative sauce pan until Nov. 1st and then get to pounding down on the keys, or sprinkling little bits in the margin of my notes, homework and essays etc., letting my work fall to the wayside and shed whatever stress has been plaguing me and contributing to my insomnia, fall away for a little bit. Not as simple as it seems. Thanks to pressure from said high school I haven't had a new idea in months, approximately 9 or 10, I wish I could be exact in fact it seriously upsets me that I can't be exact, like really really annoys me (my CDO is showing) but it appears I've blocked the exact time my ideas abandoned me out of my memory.

So because I need this, partially in hopes to keep my writers block at bay and partially to just separate me from all this stuff, I made a decision. I'm going to do my own NaNo. I may or may not participate on the site, but I'm going to be keeping count here. Due to the lack of ideas I'm going to take one or maybe two of my old ones and work on them. I'm not going to stay exclusively with one, or maybe I will I don't know yet. I'll subtract, as of Nov. 1st, whatever words I've already written, starting again at zero and see if in that time I can press out 50k. I'm debating between a couple stories, ideas that I do love and characters that I adore listening to, its fun to hear them bicker.

So that's what I'm going to do. Once I figure out what exactly I'm working on I'll post about it but I have a couple days to decide and like I aid maybe I'll see if I can write 50k between two stories if I'm not sure at the beginning and then pick one a ways through. I just need to write. And NaNo is just the empowerment I need to do it, even if I'm participating unofficially.

Location, Location, Location!

Okay so as a writer you have to have a place to put your story. I mean your characters can't just be floating around in a spaceless place doing whatever pleases them. Unless your story is about people floating around in a spaceless place and then that's okay. If that makes sense...anywho moving away from the crazy...how do you know where to place your stories?

For me well I tend to make up places, which is normal. If your story is in a parallel universe or in a different world you can totally do whatever you please. But what if your characters are just stuck in a normal place, or even from a earlier time period? (Because let’s face it you can fudge whatever you want for futuristic novel, which in the end is what makes them fun to read).

I tend to find a place where I think the characters fit in, (type of weather, large town, small town, big city, environment, continent etc.) and then build something up around them to fit the needs of the story as any author does. Of course I'm bad a titles, and names for places, so I tend to find a real town name or something and super impose it on my little fictional haven. Of course I don't put it in the same state or anywhere near the real town or place because if anyone goes to the town or lives there (with the exception of abandoned places because you can write about an abandoned place however you like and no one will know) I'm always afraid I'll get something about it wrong. And I'm a perfectionist, only when I'm writing though, I don't really care about perfection in anything else, sad I know.

But the fear is rooted in the idea that this something will be so wrong that no one will ever think to pick up the novel or story because it is so horrendously off. I've read books where the author put the story in a real place, and in some cases I have known about the real place in question, and its nothing like it was made out to be in the story. That annoys me so much. I mean, though research only goes so far, it's there for a reason, and you should use it, right? Am I over thinking the whole location thing, or is the issue just in my head? Because I've noticed it in published material, and worry it will happen to me. So how do you other authors out there do it? Because I'm going crazy, scratch that I'm already certifiable, I'm progressing deeper into my insanity.

He's With Me

He's With Me is the working title for my current WIP. So I figured you know, I should blog about it seeing as writing is what I'm here for right? So here is my not so short summary. (Which will eventually have to be shortened but as of right now I like the way it sounds and am having trouble cutting it down.) So here it is:

It’s been seven months since the little town of Magnolia Hollow, Georgia was turned upside down by an unexpected loss that shook the very core of their society. The loss of Mitch Evans, a teenager who didn’t deserve to die, who had so much more living to do when his young life was yanked out from under him. In the past seven months people have grown and changed, the world is moving on as grieving comes to a slow but steady end. Everyone is living their lives as if nothing ever happened, quickly forgetting the child who was taken from them long before his time.

Everyone that is except for Kali, who clings to the memory of yesterday and plunges ahead only because she has to, because no matter what she does time won’t stop. Even though it’s been the only thing she’s wanted, the only thing she has wished for, in the past seven months. In love with the memory of the one thing that went right in her life, the only thing she had ever needed, he was her everything and she was his.

As time continues without Mitch, Kali has to decide what to do with her life. Without him as her constant, everything has unraveled before her eyes; she isn’t going to college, is barely graduating high school and has no plans for the future. She isn’t eating, or sleeping, and is quickly finding her way down a path of self destruction, with no one standing in her way. Kali knows why Mitch died, what really caused his death, and the thing is how can anyone help her if she can’t forgive herself? If she keeps pushing them all away?

Summer rounds the corner and Kali withdraws herself even more from her family, and what remains of her friends. She is reluctant to feel anything, joy, happiness, sorrow, grief, and even acceptance. Unable to cry, unable to really grieve for the love of her life she can do nothing, nothing except sit back and watch as her life flies by, all to ready and willing and ready to let it slip away. Then the return of an annual summer visitor who for so many years remained aloof, has completely thrown her for a loop. Darren was just the kid who came to live there for the summer always locked inside or working on his car, no one really knew him, no one really wanted to, he was just a visitor someone who would be gone before too long. Getting attached was never an option. Then Darren gets a job at the local dinner and begins to insert himself into Kali’s life, persistent until she can’t take it anymore; he’s always there, always someone to talk to. As they get closer the barriers she put up between herself and society begin to deteriorate, crumbling before her. As time moves on Darren helps her to learn how to live again, how to really move on. That is until her reality settles in and she remembers what is missing, what isn’t there.

Her love for Mitch and the secret she’s been carrying inside her poses an even greater problem for her and Darren as she struggles between what is and what could have been. Stuck in the middle of a love triangle between the ghost of what she once knew and the future she doesn’t understand.

The Perfectionist in Me

So right now I have about four or five MC's bouncing along in my head, yelling and screaming at me to write them, write them, write them, and I want to write them. All of them. I really do. Only problem is I'm stuck, very stuck. Not in the plot or character development, or even in where I want the story to go. I know what I want to say, but I have no idea how to put it on paper. How to make the words in my head fit onto the page and make sense to someone else. Normally a nice warm cup of chamomile tea and a bar of dark chocolate does it, and *poof* I know exactly how to write it.

However as of recently every time I write something its seems like the perfectionist inside of me (which applies only to my writing if only I cared enough to be a perfectionist in say school? But I digress...) speaks loudly at the top of her ever condescending voice, "Wow this really sucks. You can't write to say your life. Just stop now and save me the agony of reading this trash." She can be very mean.

Sometimes I'm lucky and I can shut her up, but she comes and goes as she pleases. Normally she appears after a stretch of writers block. I am just recovering from a eight month span of block, a time that was torture. I could write, if I was lucky, a paragraph a day, not fun. And find she is in my head, again, not helping me write. Any ideas on how to shut her up? Because nothing I've tried is working, I fear the block may return, and I don't know how I'll deal with that again.

Congrats!

So this is just a quick post offering a special congrats to my friend Sara who has been working on getting published for the better part of seven years and is now represented by agent Kate Schafer Testerman, which is unbelievably and undeniable awesome. So I'd just like to offer her my biggest congrats possible, and wish her the very best! Stream Pirate is amazing and I couldn't be more thrilled for her sucess, so for the umptenth time Sara congrats! You deserve it!

The Beginning.

Okay, this is very, very, very, new to me. This is my first blog post, and I've thought about what to say about a hundred times. So I figure I'll just say a few things about myself, and ask you to bear with me for it because it may get very boring, and then the always awkward first blog will be over.

I'm sixteen, young I know, I go to high school very boring nothing really happens except sometimes fights break out in the lunchroom, not that big a deal. Nothing exciting or new ever happens at my high school, its the same thing day in and day out, which may be why I always struggle to actually pay attention. I'm an intravert, I have a very close knit group of friends who I love like family, and a real/extended family that I wouldn't trade in for the world. I love animals, I have one cat, two kittens and my second dog. My kittens think they're dogs and my dog thinks he's a cat. Read into that anyway you like either way they are all, with the exception of my eldest cat and my first dog, species confused. And that's my life.

But the reason I'm here is because I'm a writer. A young, sometimes naieve writer, but a writer none the less. My friend Sara, actually convinced me to do this, and I took the plunge after my friend Kayla decided to do it too. So thanks Sara and Kayla for helping me to do this :) As you can tell I don't like doing things by myself. I write YA fiction, jumping from romance to science fiction to post apolcolyptic futures. That's not very normal, but my mind doesn't stay focused for long. I'm focusing on three books right now, trying as hard as I can to finish two of them and polish the rest of the third. However I tend to have many, many ideas a large amount of which lay in my incomplete bin. And maybe one day I'll work more on them, though it really does depend on how annoying the characters get all that prattling in my head can be headache inducing, I have to write about them to shut them up.