It is no secret that life is hard. And everyone handles stress differently, everyone approaches life with different attitudes, everyone is playing from the same deck of cards but not everyone gets the same hand, and that sucks.
I'm a college student, I go to classes for a minimum of three hours every day, that isn't including the time I spend volunteering for my first major, or doing my work for my classes, or any of the little things that walk hand in hand with being a functioning adult. And some days I just don't function, I will completely admit that, it seems like on those days no matter how much I accomplish it is just not enough. I'm sick a lot of the time too, which is an added stressor, and currently unemployed up at school which annoys the crap out of me because back home I am nearly self sufficient. College is not cheap, and neither is taking extra classes to graduate on time with a double major. I miss my family every day, especially my parents and my siblings, being so far away kills. I know they are a phone call away and all that, but it doesn't bring them here any faster. And all this stuff is depressing.
It has, as time as gone on, been getting progressively harder to find the time, and the motivation to write. Not only for myself, but for this blog, which I love dearly. It has also become even harder to do critiques for my partners in Ink Slingers, so much so we essentially disbanded today which broke my heart a little bit. But I am trying to do better.
I'm trying so hard to figure out how to balance the life I love, this one, with the life that I need to lead to function as a member of society. And I am going to figure it out. I just have to, because I refuse to feel miserable and unaccomplished with a degree in three years if I let what I love fall to the wayside. Not to say I don't love my campus or my career choice, but it's different.
So I am going to get better, do better. I am. I don't know when or how but I am going to figure it out. I am going to function. So here I am, yet again, promising to do better. To be a better blogger, a better writer, because I have to make time for this. For me. It is my life after all, and what's the point if I'm living it for everyone else.