Friday, October 23, 2009

Late Night

So today was mole day, for anyone who doesn't know what that a mole is(aside form the sometimes cute and fuzzy little critter), it's a measure of an atom 6.02 x 10^23, apparently some big thing in chemistry. I wasn't really paying all that much attention even though my school made a big deal out of it, and everything, and I did nothing in Chem. today, it was nice. I should warn you, this post is not related to writing at all, and its long, but I had something I had to say, that is not related to the Chem. mole.

I didn't exactly enjoy my nothing day. See today marks the five year anniversary of my friends death. And no one said anything. My school and State implemented numerous laws after she and her friend died in a car crash five years ago, and as of recently driving safety has been really big topic announced every day on the loud speaker. But today, they said nothing about what happened. I'm glad they didn't, because her brother who is my ex-best friend (very long story for a never post) is still in school with me, but I'm upset too. She died at seventeen, and it seems they've already forgotten about her.

We weren't close, I'll be the first to admit it, I was best friends with her younger brother for numerous years and he and I had a falling out awhile before she died, but she was my role model. I was a little kid and she was the closest I ever had to a big sister, she was the big girl on the block you look up to because she was pretty and smart and kind. I miss her. I wont lie she's been on my mind a lot recently, not only because five years is a long time and it doesn't seem like that much time has passed but because I'm one year younger than she was when she died, and it seems surreal. I would be kidding myself if I said that her death hasn't affected me in a major way, my fear of driving may be in direct correlation with her death. She was the first kid I'd ever known who died. I mean I'd experienced death multiple times before but never a death of someone so young, let alone the girl I'd admired my entire life.

So today I find myself sitting in class thinking about how I'm going to fail this English test (which I got a 68 on) and one of my friend says "FML" and today of all days all I could think to say was "Be thankful you have one, some people aren't that lucky." I didn't say anything, and I should have. Because in this day and age saying FML is common, I hear it at least once a day, to the point where I'll get exasperated or frustrated and I'll think it or want to say it. It's those moments when I kick myself, because I'm blessed to be alive, and I should cherish that life. As though saying FML is disrespectful to every person who lost their life before their time, or lost their life at all.

Then to top it off in the last minutes of my history course an announcement comes over the loud speaker, not just any announcement, an urgent one. The kind that makes your stomach sink and your hands shake because its so ominous you know nothing good can come from it. Turns out this announcement, hurriedly instructing teachers to check their emails immediately, an announcement that automatically made me think someone was dead just because of how it was phrased, was about the choking game. Some morons in my school were playing the choking game, filming it, and then sending a video of it around. I was brought back to my earlier thought, you need to be thankful for every breath you have because it could always be your last. I wanted to hit these kids, so bad, they have life and they're willing to put their life at risk, to kill off brain cells for a momentary high, when they could be out doing something with their life. It's not like they didn't know it was dangerous, there has been a lot of publicity about this, a lot of information has been provided, and still they think its okay to play it. While my friend had been dead for five years, she would have just graduated college, just been starting her life and she wasn't. And these idiots were playing the damned choking game.

I was so pissed off. All I could do was think its been five years since my friend died and here were a bunch of morons saying FML and playing a game that knowingly puts their life at risk. And they think its funny. They think its okay, my friend died because of a stupid car, that was going too fast on a windy day. She did everything right, she was wearing her seat belt she was an outstanding person and she died. Then these kids come around and are playing a game that they've been told is dangerous, we've had announcements and seminars about this before and they still think its okay. Games that put their life at risk, while my friend who was looking into colleges, was in a car that was going to fast, a car she wasn't even driving, something she had no control over, and she died while their looking for a high. Purposefully putting themselves in danger.

It makes me sad for my generation because it seems like especially in this day and age the old stereotype of teens thinking they're invincible and immortal is being proven true, everyday. The mentality of "Oh that will never happen to me" is showing itself more and more. These kids aren't just being disrespectful to themselves either, they're being disrespectful to the people who died playing this game, because they aren't taking it seriously. They're being disrespectful to anyone who died. They don't think in terms of action=consequence, they just don't think. So today, or I guess by the time anyone reads this, if anyone reads it, it will be tomorrow, I have one request. Go out and do something that will leave you with a sense of accomplishment, take yourself out of your comfort zone and do something you don't normally do. Go out and live. Because some of us aren't blessed with that chance, and you're a fool if you don't try to live life to its fullest because five years ago today is a perfect example of how life is fleeting, especially to the young.

Just Live.

10 comments:

Anne said...

Thank you for speaking so eloquently on what life is about -- how we need to cherish each day we have. If my son, who died playing the choking game sixteen years ago, could write a blog, I know his message would be exactly as yours.

Hayley said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Hayley said...

Anne- I'm sorry for your loss, though I know ometimes those words are of little comfort I mean them from the bottom of my heart, and thank you for reading my post and understanding what I was trying to get across.

Hayley said...

Apparently I can't type at all today, my fisrt comment was full of errors and the second time around I left out the s in sometimes. Sorry.

sraasch said...

Great post, Hayley. I feel exactly as you do -- too many kids nowadays are so careless and thankless for all they have. It's sickening and terrifying and so many, many things all at once. Thank you for being brave enough to speak up about it :)

Hayley said...

Thanks Sara, I'm glad to see that you feel the same, way and thanks for your support! :)

K. M. Walton said...

Hayley,
You are wise for such a young person. If you have a school newspaper, what you wrote would be a brave Letter to the Editor...

Hayley said...

K.M.-Thanks, we do have a school paper but I'm not sure I have the gumption to send it in. It's one thing to talk about it on a blog but another for my school peers to read it. Maybe I'll submit it as an anonomous post, because they should read this, thank you for your support.

Carrie Harris said...

Thank you for writing this. It takes a lot of guts to put something like this out there for people to read and comment on.

You = awesome.

Hayley said...

Carrie-Thank you.